dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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