somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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