I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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