cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm at about main and main street
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
