Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
