Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
