think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
