you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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