make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
