new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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