So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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