Screwed.edu
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
