Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize