I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
