it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
