it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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