I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
