I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
