There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
