Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
