You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
