last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
