just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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