I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
