We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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