guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Found the puke drawer
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
