evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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