and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
