Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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