This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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