Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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