So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
