I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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