So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
