She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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