But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
