Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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