JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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