i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize