You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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