Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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