I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
