I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
