no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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