Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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  (303): idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup. http://tfl.nu/dh7x
  Replies (39) Good night (633) Bad night (3486)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined

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  (301): I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined http://tfl.nu/iip9
  Replies (19) Good night (868) Bad night (3111)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

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  (203): i just stepped in cum. i hate you. (603): Thats what happens when you don't swallow. http://tfl.nu/7phl
  Replies (86) Good night (9472) Bad night (2827)
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  (916): View more from California

  She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad

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  (916): She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad http://tfl.nu/bnzk
  Replies (75) Good night (11954) Bad night (3451)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.

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  (208): His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/55rt
  Replies (14) Good night (4919) Bad night (1564)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.

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  (719): Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you. http://tfl.nu/04eg
  Replies (25) Good night (7153) Bad night (1368)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building

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  (540): i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building http://tfl.nu/8nc8
  Replies (22) Good night (6049) Bad night (983)
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  (562): View more from California

  In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...

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  (562): In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for... http://tfl.nu/hz7t
  Replies (23) Good night (6612) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.

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  (419): Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off. http://tfl.nu/9bhr
  Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (2729)
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  (626): View more from California

  You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin

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  (626): You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin http://tfl.nu/mf5k
  Replies (6) Good night (2328) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.

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  (314): Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly. http://tfl.nu/f0vi
  Replies (10) Good night (2403) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it

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  (352): Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it http://tfl.nu/3d88
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.

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  (912): I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations. http://tfl.nu/gyzy
  Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (276)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?

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  (320): I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that? http://tfl.nu/z7it
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty

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  (773): the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty http://tfl.nu/esuw
  Replies (5) Good night (479) Bad night (217)

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