how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to