So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
