He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
