His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
