I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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