I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
