Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
