I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
