he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
