Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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