my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
