called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
