Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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