Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
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dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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