so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
