how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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