I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
