I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
