Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
