sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
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so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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