Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize